“I was told when I get older all my fears would shrink, but now I'm insecure and I care what people think.” — stressed out

hi y'all, assalamualaikum! hm, dh malam2 ni rasa nak post something lah pulak sbb who knows ada orang baca last post aku pasal temuduga dekat upsi that turned out totally sucks. long short story, yes. aku tak dapat. I failed. I disappointed everyone. I know. I always knew that. but what can I do when that's the only thing I'm good at.

so yeah, the neighbourhood knew about the interview, and while waiting for the result to came out, some of them bad-mouthed me; says that I'd be sucked so bad. I won't make it. and in the meantime, aku buat donno ja. like wHO THE FUCK TELL SOMEONE ELSE'S DAUGHTER THAT SHE'D FUCKED SO BAD AND WILL ENDED UP FAIL? WHO? YOU TELL ME?!

hm, I was furious obviously at first. who wouldn't? just because that aunt's children pandai2, sedap mulut dia ja nak mengata aku. honestly, even makcik aku, my blood, talk shit about me. I'm so done with everyone. can't they mind their own fucking stupid businesses or what?

my parents didn't stand up for me for things they've said to me and I'm grateful for that because I really don't want to create scenes over stupid things that would lead to another stupid things.

aku tak dapat offer lain, aku tak dapat upu. aku tak marah. aku cuma marah dekat orang sekeliling yg fikir they could do any better than me — as if they were the ones that gonna give me money in the future, as if they owned me causing them to bad pooping behind my back and stuffs. also, those rm16 that I've spent over that stupid upu pin numbers.

jadi, aku nak syorkanlah jalan Ari — my kinda friend, that he used to study in the engineering field. his result was quite ass bomb-ed but he didn't apply for any IPTA'S.  kluar ja result, dalam bulan 4 dia dah blah ke penang. yang tu satu.

to those adik2 yang nak ambil sangat tesl @ english dkt ipta sbb ipts mahal, ni aku syorkan buat elok2 dalam subj eng, and math untuk lepas bgi dpt tempat dlm temudga dkt uitm/upsi. (yg lain pon penting but this is the syarat.) haha syarat, really. yea really. yg penting, syarat untuk nk isi upu ialah 5 kredit/C. ha pastu dh dapat TEMUDUGA TU WORK ON THAT AND MAKE SOME FRIENDS BECAUSE I DID, AND THEY ARE SO AWESOME. SO RAD. SO RUDE THAT I THINK WE'RE PERFECT. ahahahah k.

“Ala kak, saya tak lepas temuduga.”
“Saya nak jugak masuk situ kak!”

ha UNTUk hampa yg degil boleh pi bsn beli number under nma uni tu. contoh upsi, beli number pin upsi ha pastu nnt isi UNTUK second intake. “Rayuan mcm mana? Bukan ada ka?” ya kids, ade. tapi aku tak tahu how it works untuk courses yg ada temuduga ni.

“Ada jalan lain tak akak? EGEGGEHEH”

mestila ada. di mana ada kemahuan di situ ada jalan — that jalan happens to be IPTS YAY AHAHAHAHHA. aku tahu a uni or two yg tawarkan kos english/tesl ni.

1. UNISEL — DIPLOMA & FOUNDATION. /tkda temuduga

2. MSU — DIPLOMA & FOUNDATION. /tkda temuduga

3. KUIS — DIPLOMA /dkt selangor/ ada temuduga 

4. KUIPAS — DIPLOMA /dkt pahang/ tkda temuduga

ha mudah bukan? tapi psal foundation dkt msu tu aku tak sure sbb last aku try apply tahun lepas — bulan aku tak ambil spm lagi. so stupid, aren't I? haha. jadi klu hampa nak tau apa yg aku nk buat @ sambung, aku nk hbaq la ni. aku apply unisel instead of msu, and i got diploma for that but I've already asked to change. aku nak tukar ke asasi which is setahun tempoh pengajian without any loans except for scholarships. so difficult isn't it? I know. tapi takpe, untuk degree nnt aku nak mintak upsi jgk sbb nnt boleh bagi bitch slap bebanyak dekat batch98 yg lepas temuduga dgn aku haritu. and that was Syah and I's plan. HAHAH SO KIDS, TILL WE MEET AGAIN CIAO! XX

and yo grammar nazis, I can see you flipping over my rojak language and my horrible grammar. zzZzz